i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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