I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
