I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
