i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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