margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
50% drunk capacity currently
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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