this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
