i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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