On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
