Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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