She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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