Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
