is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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