The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
