return my video game
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
