I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
