Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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