sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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