I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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