O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize