literally had 100 drinks last night.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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