Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
