remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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