I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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