I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
