3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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