it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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