Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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