Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
