he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
