You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
