VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
