Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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