He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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