yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
