12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize