Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
