I want to have your abortion
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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