the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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