I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
