he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
