new low.... made out with someone while peeing
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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