the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
