I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize