and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
