There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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