I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
