I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
