Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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