They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
