I bet he comes in French.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
