I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
