I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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