Do vagina's smell?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
