now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
