so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
