we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
