After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize