but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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