How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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