Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
