apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
