is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I need to align my fucking chakras
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