I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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