arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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